Look at you.
Oh, you sexy thing!
GIRL: Where are we? Oh it's the TARDIS, it's my home.
At least it has been for a considerable number of years.
Why, it's a police box.
What on earth's it doing here? These things are usually on the street.
Feel it.
It's a faint vibration. It's alive.
Alive.
I'm alive.
The Doctor's latest confused companion...
Goodbye. No, not goodbye, what's the other one? '.. Is someone very familiar.'
# Hello, old friend
# The night is dark and I feel cold... #
The Doctor meets the TARDIS.
The TARDIS becomes a woman.
It's called the TARDIS, this thing. Time and relative dimension in space. It's me.
She's not only the Doctor's personal fantasy, but countless men around the country, I'm sure.
See that box over there? That's me!
Let's personify her. She gets 42 minutes of life.
What do I call you? You can call me...
Sexy.
I think he's astounded, flabbergasted, afraid, endeared and turned on all at the same time.
You have what you've always had.
You've got me.
So join Doctor Who Confidential as we witness an explosive meeting of minds.
At the Doctor Who studios, the cast and crew are preparing to shoot on a set that seems very familiar.
Hey, Confidential.
Back in your TARDIS.
It's where I did my first scene. I can remember it
weirdly like it was yesterday.
Terribly nervous. I did a little dance around here.
I like this TARDIS. It's darker.
It is a darker sort of light.
I don't know what it all does in the same way, though.
A pump of sorts. Here she is, come on Suranne. Come and say hello.
This is the TARDIS, can you believe?
She has no idea what she's left herself in for. Folklore.
So hi this is Matt Smith with Suranne Jones. Hi, Suranne.
Hi Matt Smith, how are you? Good, thanks.
How's your time been on Doctor Who? Brilliant.
Everyone's been lovely. Oh, thanks.
And I mean were you intimidated about taking on such an iconic part and role?
Yes. It doesn't show, you're very good.
Thank you. Very intimidated by you.
Oh, thanks. Well...
Not when you smack yourself in the face!
Today, we're doing something extra special, because
we are pressuring a TARDIS into a TARDIS which will be found
inside a TARDIS.
So it's a very TARDIS-y day today.
A TARDIS, inside a TARDIS inside a TARDIS. I quite like that!
Hold that beat a bit longer there. Out here.
Yeah, up here. Possibly come in and do another shot.
I will start like this. I will go...one....
And I'm back and then...
Hold that. Hold that. That bit there. And then fall. Yeah.
476, take one, A-Camera. Stand by.
Returning to this TARDIS requires some fancy footwork.
Action!
# She's got me dancing
# She's got me dancing, and she's always one step behind... #
Performance-wise, we ought to go again.
My concern is it felt a bit like slow motion. So I think we should...
Can we reset and go again, please?
Richard, with the increased pace, it's just...
I would try to run less far.
Less far?
Yes. OK, it is just very difficult doing it facing out.
That is the difficulty. This way, I can continue around, you know.
How much space can you give me, Matt? I'll give you as much...
Yeah. I think it will be OK. OK.
# She's got me dancing
# She's got me dancing but she's always one step behind... #
Well done, guys, excellent. Cut.
Very good. Good. Well done, guys.
The sheer sort of remarkable excitement
of seeing Amy and Rory stepping on to the old TARDIS set.
It just seems like, it seem impossible. Seems eye-twisting that they could be there.
It is weird, because I have seen it so much
on previous episodes. On TV.
On the telly.
It's weird - been sitting here while we have been in the other,
because the other one's just around the corner.
Yeah, you see we have got to sort of walk past this one to get to the new one.
Rory's like, why is that still there?
Yeah. Now we know.
Shields.
We're being advanced upon by an Ood.
Kill them.
And then the Doctor and Idris, TARDIS lady, appear.
Doctor.
Cut. Good. But I will cue you to deliver that line. All right?
467/2.
Let's get the smoke in. Action.
The set may be staying the same, but this episode means big changes for the TARDIS.
This is, well...
She's my TARDIS. Except she's a woman.
What unfolds is a very interesting emotive, I think, relationship to the Doctor, between the Doctor
and a physical manifestation of the greatest love of his life.
She is a woman. And she's my TARDIS.
There has been love stories in the Doctor's life, but this is the ultimate.
This is the woman he'll never leave. This is the big blue box.
She's the TARDIS. And she's a woman.
She's woman and she's the TARDIS.
How long has the Doctor been going, 40, 50 years, been going
and I don't think anyone's actually made a story
about the TARDIS itself.
Did you wish really hard?
Shut up, not like that.
Hello. I'm...
Sexy. Oh...
Still shut up. Cut!
That's great writing. To see
that possibility, the simplicity of that possibility and then run with it.
You have such sensible hair.
Your hair is such a good thing.
Joining the cast and crew on set is the man responsible for bringing the TARDIS so explosively to life.
Writer Neil Gaiman.
Brilliant. Thank you very much.
This is Neil Gaiman on Confidential.
To have Neil around was a wonderful thing.
I had weirdly watched a movie called Coraline not long before and he's a sci-fi great.
Of course Neil is one of the premier if not the premier fantasy novelist on the planet. Cool.
That was Matt Smith.
Or possibly that was the Doctor.
I'm not quite sure which one I was talking to just then.
It occurred to me - not for the first time, knowing Neil's work -
that I just thought this guy's a Doctor Who fan. I can tell, I can smell it.
He must. He loves Doctor Who. He's practically writing Doctor Who in disguise.
I was incredibly lucky on this, because it began with having dinner with Steven Moffat.
He had said something very nice about me and some Doctor Whos I had written
on his blog and I sent him a jokey e-mail saying thank you.
We decided we liked each other and I made it pretty clear I wanted to write an episode.
And then he went off and came up with
some brilliant ideas.
But you know very typically mad ideas for Neil Gaiman.
And a couple of months later I phoned him up and...essentially pitched this story.
The one that I just fell in love with was the TARDIS as a woman.
That was just, oh I always think Dr Who's always a bit more interesting
when you get to his hearts when you get inside him a bit and that is such a good one, you know?
If the TARDIS was a woman, he'd be very happy, wouldn't he?
MUSIC: "You Sexy Thing" by Hot Chocolate
It's the TARDIS. My TARDIS. The best ship in the universe.
# I believe in miracles,
# Where you from?
# You sexy thing... # You sexy thing.
# You sexy thing, you
# I believe in miracles... #
What do I call you. You call me...
# Since you came along...
Sexy.
# You sexy thing.
Only when we're alone.
Does he still stroke bits of the TARDIS? Yes!
I'm like, do you two want to be alone?
# ..Touch me
# Kiss me, darling
# I love the way you hold me, baby
Here we go!
# Where did you come from, angel?
# How did you know I'd be the one? #
Thanks, dear.
# Did you know you're everything I prayed for?
# Did you know every night and day for
# Every day you make love a satisfaction.
# Now you're lying next to me, giving it to me
# I believe in miracles
# Where you from?
# You sexy thing... #
Neil has just fantastic ideas. I mean,
the very notion that the TARDIS could turn into a woman, is probably his fantasy as well.
That's why we have got it. He has that wonderful fantastical mind
that can leap around and invent the uninventable, I suppose.
And he brought all that madness and all that imagination to this script.
Exterior void space.
Bubble universe.
Floating in utter starless darkness, a small asteroid that's a junkyard
The Totters Lane at the end of the universe.
On the surface, wrecked and abandoned high- and low-tech things,
ripped canvas temporary structures, held together by rope and junk.
It could come off here and come around so we're just kind of doing that.
There are four people there.
They're all dressed in patchwork clothes that look
like they were assembled from wardrobe cast-offs, using whatever was to hand.
391, take one.
Action.
Will it be me, Uncle? Yes it will be you.
I only wish I could go in your place.
Nah. I don't, because it's really going to hurt.
Holding Uncle's right hand is Idris, who is beautiful.
She wears a wrecked Victorian party dress.
It's starting.
The scene we're doing right now is before the Doctor arrives on the planet
and Idris, Aunty, Uncle and Nephew are preparing for House to kill me.
It seems like a huge responsibility to the audience and, you know,
all the fans of Doctor Who to deliver on personifying the TARDIS.
It can't be a straightforward babe. It has to be someone with real character. Real, very, very sexy.
At the same time, sexy plus motherly, plus utterly mad, plus serene.
And action.
What will happen?
Oh, Nephew will drain your mind and your soul from your body and leave your body at the table.
I'm scared. I expect so, dear.
So when I die, I'm stood on like a great thing.
And then up underneath comes like green stuff. Woo!
So I have got to do some dying acting. So I'm just deciding on whether to do a slow choke to death,
a large scream, or just a very dreadful, painful death.
These are the thing that you have to think of.
When you're an actress.
There will be a Time Lord coming.
Cut. One more for camera.
In order for House, the sentient, malevolent creature, to use the TARDIS to feed off,
it has to take the soul of the TARDIS out and it puts in a human being, who hopefully will perish.
And that is what we does, when the Doctor arrives, he takes
the soul of the TARDIS out and put is it in Idris, this young woman.
So Idris now is animated by the soul of the TARDIS itself.
Cut.
"Exterior. Junkyard. Idris' cell."
SHE SPEAKS NONSENSE
"Idris in her cell.
"She's focusing, concentrating, like she's trying to move furniture round in her head."
Huh? What was that?
"She opens her mouth, but this time nonsense sounds just blurt out."
Do fish have fingers? Like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike.
What am I saying?
Why am I saying that?
The first thing the TARDIS has to do is simply learn how to exist,
one moment at a time sequentially.
I'm the...
Oh, what do you call me?
We travel.
I go... METALLIC THRUMMING
The TARDIS? Time And Relative Dimension In Space. Yes, that's it.
Names are funny. It's me.
And then...she has to figure out
really how she relates to the Doctor.
My TARDIS? My Doctor.
Oh, we've now reached the point in the conversation where you open the lock.
"Idris nods.
"The door opens.
"And the Doctor's not quite certain how to treat her.
"She walks out with wonder, as if this is the most amazing thing she's ever experienced.
"Looking around, using her head, her eyes.
"The initial panic is over and she's enjoying this - sort of.
"Almost saint-like."
Cut. Good. Very nice, guys.
Starting to play now.
Hi, I'm Neil.
We're doing the catering, as you can see, on Doctor Who.
At the moment, we're getting a very late breakfast ready for them
cos they're on nights this week.
Morning. Poached eggs? Anything else with your poached eggs?
Mushrooms? Is that it?
There we go. Thank you.
Porridge, poached eggs, bacon, toast.
Yes, please? Morning. Could I have some chips and beans, please?
Chips and beans. I have chips and beans whenever it's a night shoot.
Thank you!
Food of champions.
That is breakfast.
Do not let anyone fool you.
Continentals eat a thing they call continental breakfast.
That is not breakfast, this is breakfast. It has beans on.
What you having, hon? Do you have any fruit salad? Certainly, madam, we have fruit salad.
It's also 2.30pm in the afternoon, that's the other thing.
And this is the final breakfast they will be serving. There we go.
On a normal shift, just for breakfast, we'll go through 360 eggs a week,
three kilos a day of mushrooms... Bacon, about 10 kilo of bacon.
Lunch will not be served until 7pm tonight. So...
Right, I'm ready on everything. I'm just waiting on me chips.
Today, we're going to have king prawn madras.
What's the curry like? Good.
It's always best to feed the crew what they want.
We'd maybe do a sort of hearty type stew or a casserole for all the big, butch riggers and drivers
who want meat and mashed potato.
Then we go a little bit fancy and off the road for the artists and everybody else, really.
Orders-wise, Caroline and Richard are both shepherd's pie, please.
There we go. Thank you very much.
We're basically a kitchen with wheels.
So, we go wherever asked.
If it's into a quarry by a side of a lake,
if it's possible, that's where we go.
That's basically the end of it now.
So everything is packed away,
loaded down and then on to the next location.
The immediate urge upon entering the TARDIS is simply, steal it,
take off and explore the whole of space and time.
Hello, everything!
Which is, oddly enough,
what the Doctor did. That little blue box,
I stole it...
from my own people.
There we are. In perfect flight.
There's a little joy in the idea that you're getting to do something with the origin.
You're getting to go back and, just as a fan,
drop a few more hints.
I was already a museum-piece when you were young.
We still don't know the exact details of
the Doctor stealing the TARDIS.
But we know a little more in this episode.
Do you ever wonder why I chose you all those years ago?
I chose you. You were unlocked.
We know why the TARDIS was unlocked. I wanted to see the Universe, so I stole a Time Lord and I ran away.
And we know what the Doctor said
the first time he touched the TARDIS' console.
I said you were the most beautiful thing I'd ever known.
Then you stole me.
And I stole you.
I borrowed you.
We can travel anywhere and everywhere in that old box, as you call it.
10,000 years in the future. A machine that can think for itself.
Is that feasible, Doctor?
'Think not as you or I do, but it must be able to think as a machine.'
The TARDIS. It's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
Oh, I know all that bit. 'It's my home.
'At least, it has been for a considerable number of years.'
'What precisely do you do in there?
'Argue, mainly.'
'I don't know, my dear. This old ship of mine seems to be an aimless thing.
'You mean you can't control this machine?
'Well, of course I can control it.
'Nine times out of ten.
'Well, seven times out of ten.
'Five times.
'Never mind, let's see where we are.'
How far? 100 years.
Every TARDIS reflects the time it's built
and the personality of the Doctor.
I'm a Time Lord.
I'm the last of the Time Lords.
They're all gone.
And it really reflects the Christopher Eccleston Doctor,
and then gets used by the David Tennant Doctor.
This is much better.
This one feels magnificently steampunk.
But steampunk for real, as if it's just come through the time war.
It's not particularly colourful, very brass and, of course, now it's especially brass and dust,
which actually rather adds to the magic and the strangeness of it.
The new TARDIS is much more playful, it's colourful, it's goofy,
and that reflects Matt Smith himself.
But it did make the noise.
What noise? You know, the...
IMITATES THRUMMING
It's not supposed to make that noise, you leave the brakes on.
Yeah, well, it's a brilliant noise, I love that noise.
This is a type 40 TARDIS.
'This looks pretty low-tech. Low-tech?
'Grace, this is a type 40 TARDIS able to take you to any planet
'in the universe and to any date in that planet's existence.'
Yes, that's me, a type 40 TARDIS.
It says it's a type 40 TARDIS, it actually says here, TARDIS...
Time and relative dimension in space. Yes, that's it. Names are funny. It's me.
I'm the TARDIS. "Misuse or theft of any TARDIS will result in extreme penalties and possible exile."
I would take the exile. Are all people like this? Like what?
So much bigger on the inside?
And then once you're in,
it is bigger on the inside.
Then you get the question of how big on the inside.
In William Hartnell days, you got the impression that it was
probably about as big as a modern suburban home.
I don't believe it!
It's bigger inside than out.
John Pertwee never really went around much in the TARDIS.
That's because the TARDIS is dimensionally transcendental. What does that mean?
You got the impression really it was probably just one room.
It means it's bigger inside than out.
In Tom Baker days you actually did get to get inside the TARDIS...
Oh, this looks good! What?
Oh, yes. Yes, it is good.
Do you know, this is the second control room?
But for reasons that are never really adequately explained...
Hello, sick bay.
Quick, curtains, lock the door. ...
it looks like an old-fashioned, brick Victorian hospital.
Perhaps because they were filming inside an old, brick Victorian hospital.
Pick a door, any door.
What you really want is to be able to follow somebody,
and you want to follow them into the TARDIS all the way.
You want to be able to go up these stairs and just keep going. Go and find the library...
Just had a fall, all the way down there, right to the library. Hell of a climb back up.
You're soaking wet. I was in the swimming pool.
..and the squash courts.
Want to go and find the bathroom?
Yes, the bathroom. Want to go and find the wardrobe.
This has been a timely change.
And all of the cool things that are in the TARDIS somewhere.
Doctor, I don't like this!
"The TARDIS control room, but the lighting is completely unlike any lighting we've seen before.
"Uplighting, strangeness, a dead, dim, green light."
Rory,
hold my hand.
We get shut in here
with the essence of it taken out. So it's not functional, it's been taken over by this thing called House.
"The central column starts burning with a strange green light going up and down.
"Rory..." Listen, whatever happens, at least we're together.
And we're in the TARDIS, so we're safe.
"Now a familiar voice, seeming to come from the whole room.
"It's the voice of the House." You're half-right.
I mean, you are in the TARDIS.
What a great adventure.
I should have done this half a million years ago. "Tell me,
"why should I not simply kill you now?"
You need to be entertained, and killing us quickly wouldn't be entertainment.
So entertain me. Run!
It's something we've wanted to do for quite a long time, isn't it,
is see where all the staircases lead to, but it was the first time
in an episode that we felt it was entirely justified,
because if the TARDIS was taken over by something and whoever
is left inside is in real danger, then it's the first time you want them to run.
I think for the audience
it's hugely exciting to finally leave, you know, the control room,
that's the heart of the TARDIS, and be able to go somewhere else.
It's mainly one area that we are going into, and that is a huge warren
of corridors that the evil force that has taken over also messes with.
And we don't go to the fun bits of the TARDIS - the swimming pool,
we don't go to, you know, the library.
OK, running.
311, take one. And action.
SHE GASPS
What happened to the lights? The lights are fine.
It's messing with our heads again.
We go to horrible corridors that trap us in time.
Is this your first set visit?
It is. I get to come in and see the TARDIS,
and we have mysterious Doctor Who Confidential people.
All right, Confidential?
I'm being shown around the TARDIS. By me! So, come along.
Here are the corridors of the TARDIS.
As you can see, they're all very similar.
Which is very handy when we're shooting things,
because it doesn't matter where we shoot it. This is what we do in them.
So are we having fun yet? I'm rather enjoying the sensation of having you running around. Whoa!
So really it's corridor run, the traditional Doctor Who...?
Yeah. This is actually one of the most Doctor Who-ish episodes we've done in a while.
And in a week, you'll be in a quarry. Yeah.
So it actually is perfect traditional Doctor Who, you get to run corridors and be in a quarry.
At night - a night shoot.
I think in this instance, it isn't really the TARDIS as we'd see it if they were just doing a tour of
the TARDIS on a normal day, because it's been taken over by House.
The idea of making the TARDIS, which is the safest place in the universe,
the most threatening place in the universe, the House is playing with them.
It obviously could've killed them immediately and it doesn't, because it's fun. Oh, my God.
Rory? You left me. How could you do that?
How could you leave me?
It was very strange looking in the mirror and not seeing my own face.
How long have you been here?
2,000 years I waited for you, you did it to me again! I didn't mean to.
I didn't mean to, I'm sorry.
It felt really cool to be an old man. I'm looking forward to it.
I think it's going to be my finest hour when I get there, I can finally rock out.
How could you do that to me?!
Cut. Good. Well done.
What was it like, looking in the mirror? It's really odd. There's a big spongy nose.
That wasn't any prosthetic.
That's just what Rory looks like when he comes in in the morning.
His nose is that big first thing in the morning and we just have to work at it.
We shave him. We use a bit of CGI.
Lots of make-up. He vaguely resembles Arthur,
as we know and love him, by about 9am.
But it's hard. The make-up department that put of work in.
And the mill. The whole budget goes on making Arthur look like Arthur.
Absolutely. It's a nightmare.
At the Doctor Who studios, Neil takes a peek around the prop store.
Home of TARDISes past, present and possibly future.
So, over here, we have a TARDIS.
It is the one that the Doctor and Idris are going to be using...
Keep going! You're doing it, you sexy thing.
..to fly from the asteroid... So, you do, that. Is it my name?
You bet it's your name. ..to the TARDIS.
And what is particularly cool about it,
is it was designed by a Blue Peter competition winner.
We want you to design the console for a TARDIS.
If you don't know what a TARDIS is, it's the centre bit inside of the
TARDIS that a Doctor controls it all from.
We really wanted to give Blue Peter viewers and Doctor Who fans
the chance and do the ultimate bit of Doctor Who design work.
And what could be more exciting, more fun,
more central to it, than designing the interior of the TARDIS?
So, with around 2,000 children entering their masterpieces,
the judging panel convened to sift through the finalists.
THEY LAUGH
Quite a lot of references,
which are very detailed to plotlines in the past.
It's really impressive. They've definitely been paying attention.
Just the thought that's gone into it is incredible.
Microwave to save time.
My little brother's car to set speed.
Fish in the central console. That's just brilliant.
Cheese grater to smooth the rough edges of turbulence.
Hoover to suck babies in.
THEY LAUGH
Of course you would! After much chin-stroking and deliberation, the judges have a result.
We're happy that one of these will be made into the TARDIS console? Absolutely.
One of the things that I love about this
is how incredibly and magnificently 1960s it is.
So, here we have our central column,
the one that will be going up and down.
Skipping rope to control TARDIS. That is brilliant.
Only a 12-year-old girl is going to come up with the idea
of skipping rope to control TARDIS. Classic Doctor Who.
And classic Doctor Who with a certain amount of silliness, which,
considering it will be used on a
mission of life-saving importance, I think that's incredibly appropriate.
It's late at night on the outskirts of Cardiff, and the cast and crew
are preparing to film in a quarry
that's been turned into a graveyard for TARDISes.
Well, this was a scrap yard of TARDISes somewhere outside
the universe, which is a useful description.
And, in fact, the planet is composed of crashed things.
We sort of devised the story that everything
that came along became calcified and turn into stone,
so therefore you had the excuse to have a lot of stone around.
After the beginning, when you've gone behind auntie and uncle,
then you creep round this way, don't you?
What was fantastic, when I turned up to shoot, I suddenly found myself
sort of walking through the foothills
almost and they had dressed a huge area, which was fantastic.
What a backdrop for a world. To be able to shoot 360 for real
and then very carefully pick the moment, so we want to go even wider.
And action!
Just keep back from this one. She bites.
Do I? Brilliant.
Argh! No. Ow, ow! Biting's excellent. It's like kissing, only there's a...
When we first looked at the script and it was this junkyard planet,
we had to think what sort of junk was there.
You have to make things going on. You have a junkyard of TARDISes.
The TARDISes that have landed on this planet
over the years have been half-eaten,
but there are still bits of them that haven't been consumed.
But you also have chameleon circuits,
so these were TARDISes that looked like other things in order to prevent
Time Lord technology from falling into the wrong hands.
In much the same way that the TARDIS looked like a big blue box,
the other TARDISes might have looked like bathtubs.
What about all this stuff? Where did this come from?
Or bits of them might have looked like old radios or whatever.
So, they'd actually taken these little bits of
rather strange technology and bits of things that look like rubbish,
but which are not rubbish, they are very, very important.
357, take one.
And action! Thief! Thief, thief, thief!
You see that box over there?
That's me.
That box is me.
That's unbelievable.
When I got the part, I was like, "OK, are you sure that
I'm playing the TARDIS?
It's brilliant. It's just like you couldn't
get a better kind of episode of Doctor Who.
We're going to build a TARDIS.
It takes a quarrel in a quarry for the Doctor and the TARDIS
to really get to the heart of their relationship.
They get to argue.
And they get to argue over silly things.
There's a sign on my front door. You have been walking past it for 700 years. What does it say?
Pull. To open.
Because, of course, you do pull to open a police box.
That's not instructions! There's instructions at the bottom. What does it say?
Pull to open. Yes, and what do you do? I push!
Can you imagine how long that must have irritated the TARDIS?
Every single time. 700 years. Police box doors open out the way.
The central idea of the story was what would happen if the Doctor and the TARDIS actually got to talk?
I have actually rebuilt a TARDIS before. I know what I'm doing.
You're like a nine-year-old trying to rebuild a motorbike
in his bedroom, and you never read the instructions. I always read the instructions!
I thought there has to be a point there were the Doctor would say...
You know, YOU have never been really reliable.
And you have? You didn't always take me where I wanted to go.
I thought, and if he said that, then I know what the TARDIS would say.
No, but I always took you where you needed go.
And, knowing that,
it's like the entire episode grew around that conversation.
Like a pearl around a little piece of dust. Look at us talking.
Wouldn't it be amazing if we could always talk, even when you're stuck inside the box?
You know I'm not constructed that way.
She's every bit as smart as he is in her own way.
But her own way is very different to his way.
She exists across space and time - all of space and time simultaneously.
I exist across all space and time and you talk and run around and bring home strays.
Turn over.
The Doctor and Idris are assembling a half-built console in front of them. A sort of Frankenstein thing.
And action!
You'll need to install the time rotor.
How is this going to make it through the rift? Cut.
They've taken the one in the most of two walls, no ceiling, 1970s TARDIS as a shell.
And action! We're almost done. Run computer.
Retroscope.
And they're building things.
Picking up junk, examining it, breaking bits off,
putting them into others.
Right. Perfect. Look at that. What could possibly go wrong?
That's fine. That always happens. No, hang on. Wait!
Working incredibly smoothly together, as if they've been doing this for years. Right. OK. Let's go.
Like a long-married couple.
Well, my beautiful idiot. You have what you've always had.
You've got me.
When the Doctor finally lands inside his TARDIS, he's quickly brought back down to Earth with a bump.
So, just give it a couple of beats. And then fall on the floor. OK?
And action! That TARDIS has got a weird grated floor.
It's like a cheese grater. It's like falling onto a cheese grater.
Play with the gravity.
THEY GASP AND SHOUT
It's not comfortable. I'd go so far as to say painful.
Play with gravity.
THEY GROAN
Gravity finish.
Matt got the comfy chair to fall on, did he?
Well, I didn't notice that at the time.
I could play with gravity.
THEY GROAN
Gravity over.
Cut. Good. Everybody happy? Move on.
Not very chivalrous.
No, I took the floor.
But I, you know...
I can man-up and deal with that.
Sorry. I thought you just shouted cut.
That was wonderful because I spent the day actually being interviewed
and being allowed, due to the good agency of Doctor Who
Confidential, to go and mess around in not one, but two TARDISes.
And inspect not two, but three consoles.
So, all in all, that was rather wonderful. I can't wait to see the finished episode. I hope...
BELL RINGS
They're shooting.
I think you should be very, very careful about what you let back into this control room.
You took her from her home,
but now she's back in the box again. And she's free.
What's interesting about that episode is that, by the end of it,
we realise that it all comes back to good old TARDIS and Doctor.
And from Idris' dead mouth,
golden lights glitter and twinkle and gather.
Look at my girl. Look at her go.
Beyond inside!
A cascade of energy pours out of Idris' mouth,
a twinkling mass of pure energy. It fades into the room.
The lights in the TARDIS control room begin to flicker and change,
as if half of the room is lit by golden light,
the rest is still the greenish glow.
Finish him off, girl.
The lights are chasing each other around the control room.
The green glow is being vanquished by the golden light.
Then the control room goes dark.
A beat. Doctor, are you there?
It's so very dark in here. I'm here.
I think it's very hard for him to leave her,
to not have around, physically. I think that must be...
It's such a romantic idea, really.
I'll always be here. But this is when we talked.
And now even that has come to an end.
It must have changed the relationship with his ship.
I don't know in what way yet. Maybe we'll find out.
But I'm sure if you asked him again after that episode,
he'd have a different perspective on the TARDIS. He must do.
(I love you).
He still loves her in exactly the same way.
That connection is so strong and hopefully you get, from the episode,
that that connection is so strong and that will never change.
Hours later, the Doctor is alone.
He's finally finished the work,
puts the cover back in place, presses a button on his sonic screwdriver
and the screws go down by themselves. And then, very quietly, hesitantly...
Are you there?
Can you hear me?
No, I'm a silly old...
OK, the Eye of Orion, or wherever we need to go.
Without him even touching the controls,
the light coming through the central column burns brightly
and with a crash of engines the TARDIS is taking them somewhere
that's almost definitely not the tranquil Eye of Orion.
Woo!
End credits.
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