SHE GASPS
Who are you?
I'm the Doctor.
You don't have to stand over there - come and have a look.
It's called the TARDIS.
Ooh!
SHE LAUGHS
Nice!
But hold on - I can't call you Doctor.
No, I want to know your name.
Yeah, that's, uh, that's tricky,
because I was adopted,
and the planet that took me in, they were kind of...
..they were kind of posh.
They'd use titles like the Doctor,
or the Bishop,
or the Rani,
or the Conquistador.
Say Doctor for a thousand years and it becomes my name.
OK, "the planet" - parking that.
"Thousand years" - double parked.
So you're a doctor, but you're...
..the police?
Police box! No! No, no, no, no, that's a disguise.
Oh. Inside, it's a time and space machine, but outside,
it's like a chameleon,
cos once I landed in 1963
and they used to have police boxes on street corners.
1963?! Yup.
OK. Ooh!
Jukebox - I like that.
Mm. OK, so, back to the planet.
My world was called Gallifrey.
Gallifrey? Mm.
And where's that?
Gone!
Ruby, it's gone. It's gone.
They died.
There was a genocide, and they died.
So the one that was adopted was the only one left.
I am the last of the Time Lords.
And I am so, so glad to be alive.
This thing flies.
Do you want to see?
SHE STAMMERS
RUBY YELLS
METALLIC THRUMMING
THEY BOTH LAUGH
Let's have a random landing!
RUBY: Whoa!
Hoo-hoo!
Oooh...
150 million years in the past.
No! Really!
No, you've got to be k... You are kidding.
Don't be so ridiculous.
Are there dinosaurs out there?
I don't know. Go and have a look.
SHE SQUEALS EXCITEDLY
SHE LAUGHS
Wait! No.
Is it safe?
What if I change history by stepping on a butterfly or summat?
Well, that's not going to happen, is it?
Who steps on butterflies?
You'd literally have to be like,
"Wait. Come 'ere, butterfly!
"Come 'ere, 'ave it!"
THEY BOTH LAUGH
Oh, my God.
That...
BELLOWING
That's so beautiful.
DOCTOR LAUGHS
And TARDIS stands for Time And Relative Dimension In Space, eh?
So we've moved location as well.
This will be North America.
Huh.
One day, this is Wyoming.
A little town called Green River. DINOSAUR BELLOWS
Oh!
POSH ACCENT: What's wrong?
Did I do something wrong?
Because I am Rubathon Blue of the 57th Hemisphere Hatchlings,
and I do not do wrong things, Dok-tah.
But... If you have made
an incorrect accusation, I will have to kill you.
No, no, no.
Just wait, wait a minute.
Just...
What are you doing?
Nothing, just...
HE BLOWS GENTLY
Am I missing summat?
Nothing.
Let's try that again, OK?
Thank you. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
OK, uh... Controls are new, completely forgot...
The butterfly compensation switch.
Good. Right. Yes.
Let's go forward. Give me a number. Give me a year.
Um, two. Two.
One. One. Five. Five.
O. O.
Ah, six! Six!
Oh! Five numbers! I like it!
Oh!
METALLIC THRUMMING
THUD
ELECTRIC ZAPPING
But we're indoors!
We...got through walls.
ZAPPING
Uh-huh. Is that like a matter transporter,
like in Star Trek?
HE LAUGHS
We've got to visit them one day.
Hey, but you said the TARDIS was like a chameleon,
but it still looks like a police box.
Oh, it's, uh, it's broken.
Most of the universe is knackered, babes.
OK. Come, come, come, come.
Oh, it stinks.
CREAKING
Something is wrong with this place.
It is a space station, reaching overload.
Whoa! Whoa! No, you've made it worse.
FIERCE GROWL
Aah!
No, that is worse.
DEEP GROWLING
Is that a monster?
No. No, don't be silly.
Ruby, there's no such thing as monsters, there's just...
..just creatures you haven't met yet.
FEARFULLY: Hi there.
SHRIEKS
Run? Run! Run! Run!
RUBY SCREAMS
Come on!
In here, in here, in here, in here.
But...now we're trapped! Now we're trapped! Push the button!
Doctor! OK.
RUBY WHIMPERS
Oh, yeah, yeah!
The question is...
..why did I run?
Cos it was scary!
It was new.
I love meeting new things.
So why did it give me the shivers?
I couldn't run fast enough, I was like...whoosh!
Well, it'd help if we knew where we were.
Yet again...
..push the button.
HE CHUCKLES
BEEP
SHE GASPS
Oh...
Oh, we're on a baby farm!
Ha-ha!
A parthenogenesis machine.
What is it with you and babies?
I was going to say the same thing to you!
We've gone from baby to baby.
I'm not saying things are connected, and yet...
..things connect.
Well, I'm the one looking for my parents.
And you've got a time and space machine.
So this place grows babies. What for? Food?
Foo...? Wha...? What?!
Food? They're not tomatoes!
Well, excuse me! There's a big hungry thing downstairs!
Baby farms boost the population.
Sometimes a world goes sterile or...
..I don't know, goes mad and bans kissing.
So these babies are human, yeah?
Yep, grown for a colony world.
And a colony world is not Earth?
Hey! OK, one last time,
push the button!
SHE LAUGHS
We made it.
The human race, we survived.
We went to the stars.
SHE CHUCKLES
And...ten minutes ago, Doctor,
just ten minutes ago, you said genocide.
Your people are gone. Yeah.
How do you keep going? For days like this, Ruby Sunday.
I don't have a people. I don't have a home.
But I don't have a job, either.
I don't have a boss, or taxes or rent or bills to pay.
I don't have a purpose or a cause, or a mission,
but I have...
..freedom.
And so I keep moving on.
To see the next thing,
and the next, and the next.
And sometimes...
..it looks even better through your eyes.
THEY BOTH LAUGH
So where's this, then?
Oh, uh...
Huh.
Planet Pacifico del Rio.
Oh, that's in English!
They speak English here? English exists?
Uh, no. No, no, no. Humans all speak one language by this point.
A bit like Cantonese. Oh. This is what it really looks like,
but the TARDIS translates - it's got a perception filter,
so it helps you fit into every time and place.
Right, and my mum, she's long gone now.
Can I see your phone?
Yes.
So, my sonic screwdriver can make the distance
between you and Earth 19,000 years or...
HE EXHALES
..one phone call.
What? Carla. Phone her.
But... Your mum, Ruby. Call your mum.
PHONE RINGS
CARLA SIGHS
Well? What is it now?
Mum?
Yes, Mum, obviously.
You've just ran out the door ten seconds ago,
why are you phoning me?
You went like the wind, where are you going?
Yeah. Yes, I will... I'll, uh... I'll catch up with you in a minute.
Bye. Love you. Love you. Merry Christmas!
That was my mum, on Christmas Eve!
On my birthday, ten minutes ago.
That's the best signal ever - how much does that cost?
I want to know what the hell is wrong with this place.
AIR HISSES
Do you see?
It's calm up here, but underneath it is seething,
just like downstairs with that creature.
There's got to be a crew or a captain...
CHILD: This is Eric, reporting from Birth Zone 6.
I keep getting these temperature fluctuations.
I've opened up safety valves 10 to 16.
Tried cross-matching with the CO2 exchange,
but until we get that pressure down, I can't...
DOCTOR: Hi!
You all right?
But... You!
Oh!
We've been waiting for an awfully long time.
Mummy! Daddy!
Oh, no. No, no. No, darling, we're not...
Boys-oh-boys, I've got to tell everybody.
Mummy and Daddy are here!
A baby farm.
Run by babies.
HE LAUGHS
Space babies!
RUBY LAUGHS
KLAXON HONKS
They're here! They came at last!
Mummy and Daddy are here.
BABIES CLAMOUR
BABIES: Mummy and Daddy!
They came back!
BABIES TALK EXCITEDLY OVER EACH OTHER
Hello, space babies!
Hello, Daddy!
Hi, Daddy. Hello, Daddy!
Oh. Everyone, back to work!
Show Mummy and Daddy what a good job
we've been doing. Make them proud!
My job is to keep the pipes clean. I'm proud of the pipes.
And I keep the oxygen nice and cool.
We need oxygen to breathe.
And I pull this string and that string.
I'm not sure what they do, but I pull them very hard.
And I made this for you. It's a little flower.
Thank you!
SHE LAUGHS
I'm Captain Poppy
and I kept the station running for Mummy and Daddy.
Because we knew you'd come back for us one day.
We waited.
Right. You're not supposed to be running this place.
This isn't Baby World.
You got left behind when the adults...
..vamoosed?
We took over.
We were very brave.
Right.
That's great. That's, oh, that's good.
That's amazing. You've done a really great job.
I'm sorry, Poppy, I'm so sorry,
but we are not your mummy and daddy.
I wish we were, but we're not.
They left us. Where did they go?
I don't know, darling.
But...
..I'm Ruby and this...
This is the Doctor.
And we're your friends.
Yeah, got you.
I've got you, I've got you, I've got you, I've got you.
And me! And me! And me! And me!
Oh, gosh.
And me! And me!
Captain Poppy, when was the last time that you had a hug?
Never.
Oh! Oh, baby, it's OK.
Come here, it's OK.
It's OK, it's OK. Sh-sh-sh.
Aww, never had a hug!
Come on, you can all have a hug. HE SHUSHES
POPPY: Did I get things wrong, Doctor?
HE EXHALES
Well...
According to this, the crew went home.
They abandoned ship and they left you guys behind.
I don't know why, but they left the birth machine running,
so you lot grew up, but you stayed the same size.
Baby size. Space babies.
But are we wrong?
What do you mean? We're not meant to be like this.
Did we grow up wrong?
Oh, Poppy.
Oh, Popsicle.
Look at me. Look at me.
Nobody grows up wrong.
You are what you are, and that is magnificent.
But Mummy and Daddy left us.
That's OK. Mine did, too.
What happened?
Well, I was found.
Hooray! Yeah.
Little baby me was left alone
in the middle of outer space.
And guess who took me in. I don't know.
DEEPLY: The Time Lords! Oooh!
Can you say it like me?
The Time Lords! That's it.
P-P-P-Pop, but the point is,
is that it doesn't matter where I come from,
because I am absolutely lovely.
Aren't I?
SHE YAWNS That wasn't rhetorical, Pops.
Yes, you are! And do you want to know my secret?
There's no-one like me in the whole, wide universe.
No-one like me exists, and that's true of everyone.
It's not a problem, Captain Pops.
It's a superpower.
High five.
Yeah! Yeah!
So you're Eric.
And you're Tasha. And Ruben.
And then there's Saltine and Boo.
I love you, Ruby. Aw, I love you too, Eric.
But how do you manage...
..all on your own?
We've got Nanny. Say hello, Nanny.
ROBOTIC VOICE: Good afternoon, children, and welcome to
our new visitors. Oh! Nanomatrix Electroform, Nan-E!
Right. Hi, Nan-E.
I'm the Doctor, and this is Ruby.
We have visitors, children. Nanny!
Noses must be blown.
Activate nose-blow.
Uh...
One, two, three and...
..blow.
BABY BLOWS
RUBY CHUCKLES
POPPY BLOWS, GIGGLES
THEY BOTH LAUGH
Well done, children.
And now, children, back to work.
Nappies are changed at 1800 hours.
Oh, can't wait to see that.
Right. So it's you lot?
It's Nan-E.
And downstairs, is that your pet dog?
SCREECHING AND CRYING
That's not a doggo. What is it, then, Eric?
The Bogeyman!
BABIES CRY
Shush, shush, shush. Shush, shush, shush.
No. Gosh.
We don't like the Bogeyman!
No, no, no. Shush, shush. I did not mean to scare you.
There is no such thing as the Bogeyman.
That thing was more sort of like a...er...
Bogeyman! No, stop it!
No, stop it! Nan-E, tell them there's no such thing
as the Bogeyman.
Nan-E is scared of the Bogeyman.
Then what is the Bogeyman doing down there?
And why-why is it so scary?
IT SHRIEKS
Doctor, turn it off!
HE LAUGHS
OK.
No, listen to me! Listen to me! I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, babies. Space babies.
I'm sorry.
POPPY: Oh, Ruby...
Right. Nan-E.
These babies are trying their best - space babies -
but this station is in trouble.
You have got a build-up of pressure in Hull-3-B.
Something is ramping up down where the Bogeyman lives.
And if that continues...
Baby boom!
Portal 3-5-7. OK, what's that?
Access Portal 3-5-7.
That's on this floor, what is it?
Access Portal 3-5-7.
Yeah, it is just a storage unit. What would I need to go there for?
HUMAN VOICE: Oh, for God's sakes, 3-5-7 - come on!
Ha!
Where do you think you're going?
Portal 3-5-7!
HE LAUGHS
Right! Great. OK. Coming!
So, is this what you do, Doctor? I mean, in life?
You help? That's like your...purpose?
No, no, I'm just, er... helping babies - space babies.
Ha! Listening to my hearts. Two hearts. Plural.
OK. Two hearts.
But what if helping the babies takes six weeks? Or ten years?
Because my mum's still waiting for me.
Back home, on your birthday.
Yeah, it's strange, your life.
You were abandoned, like this lot.
If things connect, then you are connecting like crazy.
You don't know anything about your birth mother or your father?
They didn't leave a note or a scrap of paper...?
Nothing. I was...
I was just left.
By the church. In the snow. On Ruby Road.
Doctor...
What?
It's snowing.
OK, what just happened? I said snow, and we've got...
..snowflakes.
It's like a memory just came through.
From the day that you were born.
But how? Is this the sort of thing that happens with time travel?
I have been to the ends of time and back,
and I have never seen anything like this before.
Then what does it mean?
I don't know.
HE LAUGHS
SHE LAUGHS Oh, I thought my birth was crazy...
Oh, yeah. Oh...
HE SNIFFS
I wonder who she is.
Your mother.
The memory changed.
She was pointing at me.
DOOR OPENS
I said Portal 3-5-7!
Don't just stand there yapping, you pair of idiots! Get inside!
Who's she?! Nan-E!
Ha! Oh!
This is Captain Rico Trieste,
signing off duty from Babystation Beta,
Pacifico date 56-56-22.
For the record, I'm signing off under protest
and wish to condemn this course of action.
Chief Engineer Lucia Colasanto signing off, 56-56-22.
And I'd like to say for the record, the company's actions are appalling.
I will be launching an appeal against this as soon as we're home.
AIR BLASTS SHE GASPS
DOCTOR AND RUBY EXHALE
This is Comms Officer Gina Scalzi signing off,
56-56-22.
So the crew went home,
and left the babies behind? Space babies. It's the recession.
The government closed the Babystation to save money,
but the law says it's illegal to stop the birth machine.
AIR HISSES DOCTOR EXCLAIMS
But how did you arrive?
Have you got a way out of here? I've got a ship, yeah, um...
What is your name - sorry, Nan-E?
Jocelyn, Jocelyn Sancerre.
I was the on-site accountant.
I don't know how this place works.
Jocelyn, hold on, hold on, hold on.
This - this can help.
If you leave this to sync up...
..that should recalibrate the whole shebang.
Thank you. Uh-huh.
Want to swap?
HE LAUGHS
Hang on, so the planet down below
who refused to stop the babies being born...
But once they're born, they don't look after them?
It's a very strange planet.
It's not that strange.
But you stayed behind?
I couldn't leave them.
And I tried with this place.
But I'm not an engineer!
The machine went out of sync, I patched it back,
but then the education software ran out of control -
it's a mess.
And I've been all on my own, watching the kids, for six years.
But I don't understand - they are gorgeous.
Why would you hide?
Cos I don't want to see them die.
And I don't want them to see me die.
Cos that's how bad it is.
This is a closed station.
There's only so much air. There's only so much food.
The last thing I'll do is give them the air out of Portal 3-5-7.
But then...
..then you came along.
Can't you fly somewhere else?
What do you mean, fly? Uh, space station - stationary, no engines.
This great big thing can't move. It's just stuck in orbit,
which is a shame, because this is a nice little system.
The fifth planet out, Mondo Caroon -
that's a DuBarryDuPlessy world.
Oh! That's good!
DuBarryDuPlessy is a starwide organisation -
it means they can take in lots of refugees. Oh!
Well, can't we call them for help?
They don't go and fetch refugees.
That's the fate of every refugee in the universe -
you physically have to turn up on someone else's shore.
And we can't move.
But now you have a ship!
Plenty of room, it's called the TARDIS.
The trouble is, between us and the ship...
..is the Bogeyman.
What is that thing?
BOTH: You don't know?!
It's nothing to do with me. It's not part of the manifest.
It's not like anything I've ever seen.
No, nor me.
But it reminds me of something. What is it?
And what is its skin made of? And why...
..was I so scared?
Because it's terrifying! Yeah, but I've met
a million ugly bugs. I'm an ugly bug!
That thing made me run, and I just wonder why.
OK. Thing is, this place is completely...mad,
but it sort of makes sense.
Because you've got babies, you've got a nanny...
..and you've got the Bogeyman.
You've literally got a monster living down below.
It's a children's story!
Come to life.
And every story has its hero.
That's Eric! Is that Eric?!
Eric, get out of there!
ROBOTIC VOICE: Eric, please vacate this area.
Oh, is that how it works? Nan-E filter.
Eric! Get out! Now!
ROBOTIC VOICE: Eric will leave immediately.
No, Nanny! I'm being brave.
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS
Eric, for God's sake, run!
ROBOTIC VOICE: Eric, invoking the deity, accelerate perambulation.
I'm doing what Ruby said!
What?
I love Ruby,
and she said there's no such thing as the Bogeyman.
So I'm going to find the naughty doggo and tell him off.
IT SHRIEKS RUBY GASPS
SHRIEKING AND GROWLING
But I'm so scared.
SNARLING
Oh, my God, it's my fault!
Eric, I'm coming! I'm coming! I'm coming!
I'm coming!
SHE GASPS
DISTANT SNARLING
Nan-E, where's the Bogeyman?
It's about 400 metres north-west of you.
But still no sign of Eric.
I can't get a proper fix.
I told you, these systems are a crock of...
ROBOTIC VOICE: ..waste products... Mind your language, Nan-E.
OK, Doctor, if we make a tonne of noise,
then the Bogeyman will come for us and leave Eric alone, yes?
Yes. Yes, yes, yes. OK, right!
Yes. Yes, yes.
Bogeyman! Bogeyman!
BOTH: Bogeyman! Bogeyman!
BOGEYMAN GROWLS
It's moving. It's heard you!
OK, nice plan, but what now?
HE SNIFFS
I think...
HE SNIFFS
..if I was very, very little
and I knew the Bogeyman was coming...
..I would need to change my nappy...
..cos I can detect...
RUBY GASPS
Space baby!
RUBY SQUEALS
Oh, Eric!
RUBY SHUSHES
We've got you, we've got you. Oh, you poor thing.
It's OK.
BOTH SHUSH
I know, I know. I know.
BOGEYMAN GROWLS RUBY GASPS
Not west, I meant east!
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS
Go, go.
It's all right, it's all right.
ERIC CRIES
It's all right,
it's all right, it's all right.
All right, all right...
ERIC WHIMPERS
It's all right.
DISTANT SHRIEK
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS ERIC CRIES
RUBY SHUSHES
It's OK, it's OK.
DEEP GROWL
All right.
FOOTSTEPS MOVE AWAY
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS
RUBY SCREAMS
Don't you touch them, you...
ROBOTIC VOICE: ..illegitimate person.
Go! Go.
SHE GASPS
DOCTOR: It's a dead end. Whoa!
It's OK, it's OK. You're OK.
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS
Babies to the rescue!
Ha!
Space babies!
BABIES CHEER
Babies with a flame-thrower!
Babies, babies, babies, you did brilliant!
You did so great!
Space babies, you need to go, OK? Get out of here.
HE WHISTLES
OK, let's get you in here, come on.
Let's get you in there.
SHE IMITATES AEROPLANE
Nan-E, tell them what to do!
Children will return to the upper levels
or have no expletive dinner.
BABIES SAY GOODBYE
OK, uh, you go with them, I've got to stay here.
Not just for the TARDIS,
but I've got to find out what that thing is.
If that's you telling me to leave you on your own, then...
SHE LAUGHS
Doctor...
Well, come on!
HE LAUGHS
Ooh!
Whew! Whew!
So how did this begin, Jocelyn?
First I knew, six years ago...
It was like a rattling in the pipes.
Then the howling began.
By the time I got the cameras working, there it was.
The Bogeyman.
I don't know how it even exists.
And that was six years ago?
Sh-sh-sh. Oh!
WHISPERS: That's the same time the babies were born.
It's leaving...
..some sort of spoor.
Man, that's a good word. Spoor.
What the bleep-bleep is that?
Oh, Jocelyn, turn the filter off.
What is that stuff?
If I could get this to your machine, it could analyse it.
The machine's got a vent in the basement. Follow the corridor.
Left, straight ahead, left again.
DOCTOR: Into the belly of the beast.
Yeah, this stuff is slippy, Rubes.
Be careful. Ooh! Ha!
Oh, my God. Oh! This is disgusting!
Don't call me Rubes!
Are we almost there, Joce?
STATIC OVER COMMS
This gunk stuff is sealing the whole place off.
Oh, but never mind...
..because...
Ah! We are right under the parthenogenesis machine.
Now, let's make sense of this thing.
Uh...
According to the machine...
BEEPING
Oh! What?
It has been right in front of us.
We've been saying it all along. It's all one machine!
One up above, and one down below.
The one up above grew the babies.
The one down below... It grew the Bogeyman!
Yes! I said this. I told you so. Six years ago!
The machine is mother and father to the babies,
and mother and father to the Bogeyman. And why? Because Jocelyn
said that the educational software ran out of control,
and then you said... It's like a story!
The teaching software, it told a story!
It invented the Bogeyman!
For the babies! For the space babies!
The machine is literally like a computer, it literally said,
"Babies need fiction, they need stories,
"they need monsters!" Yes.
That is why I'm so scared.
It's all deliberate, it's infrasound!
The Bogeyman is roaring at 17 hertz,
that's the exact pitch designed to make you scared!
It's scary because it's meant to be!
The machine made it tall and big and noisy,
and it built it out of...
Oh.
What? Oh, Ruby.
What?
Oh, man.
Tell me what it is. I can't.
Doctor! Ruby, I have travelled the universe and back
and seen many, many things, but nothing...
..is as bad as this.
A Bogeyman is made out of what?
ANNOYED: I don't know.
The machine is literal,
and the name is Bogeyman.
So? Oh, babes.
Space babes. We saw it. The nose-blowing!
The machine was literal,
and so it grew the Bogeyman
out of bogeys.
What? All of this is bogeys.
No. Yes. No. Yes. No!
No wonder it was shedding its skin!
Doesn't everyone? No, no, no.
HE LAUGHS
It's snot! It's not.
Oh, Ruby, it is a living sneeze!
But it's in my... I know!
Oh, my God!
HE LAUGHS
This is the worst thing that has ever happened to anyone!
Don't laugh!
Sorry. Oh, isn't the universe mad?
Yeah, it just made a monster out of snot!
Oh, Ruby Sunday, Monday, Tuesday,
that is...
DEEP GROWLING
GOES SERIOUS ..so funny.
Bogeyman.
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS
Run. Run!
Go!
No, no, no, no!
Don't worry, it's me. Turn right.
RUBY SCREAMS
Go!
BOGEYMAN GROWLS
It's your device.
It's calibrated.
It's brilliant! I've got control at last.
Now trust me - turn right!
This isn't the way to the lift!
Keep going. Ah!
Go, go, go, go! I'm coming, I'm coming!
It's catching up! Coming!
Whoa!
Yeah, thanks...
..for using us as bait, just next time ask!
Oh, wait until we tell you what that thing is made of!
You can tell me later. Once I've got rid of it.
I will protect my children
and blast that thing into space!
It's an airlock.
It is one of the children, Jocelyn!
I...
She's got the sonic! Jocelyn, Jocelyn!
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS COMPUTER: Oxygen field at 10%.
OK. OK. OK. We haven't got time.
Stop Jocelyn, yeah?
Wait... Left, second right, next left, you'll get to the lift.
What about you? Left, second right, next left! Right, OK!
BOGEYMAN SHRIEKS
Oxygen field at 9%.
You're hurting him!
Stop it, Nanny! Stop it!
Oxygen field at 8%.
I am the last of the Time Lords.
How do you keep going? For days like this.
I'm the only one of me
in the whole, wide universe.
No-one else like me exists,
and that is true
of everyone.
The only one of its kind.
Oxygen field at 7%.
Oxygen field at 6%.
BABIES GASP
Oxygen field at 5%.
Oxygen field at 4%.
HE SCREAMS
Oxygen field at 3%.
HE GRUNTS
Push...the button!
Oxygen field at 2%.
Venting reverse. Venting reverse.
No! That's what you do, Jocelyn!
You save them all.
Oxygen field at 1%.
HE GROANS
You save them all.
SHE SOBS
Come here.
It's OK.
Attention! Calling Captain Poppy.
Calling all crew. Especially you, Eric.
Plus Ruby and Jocelyn Sancerre.
Nanny was really naughty. I know, and I'm so sorry.
All of you.
BABBLES GLEEFULLY
I was just...
..on my own...
..for such a very long time.
We still love you, Nanny.
Yay! We do!
But-but-but-but-but-but...
..your favourite monster...
..is fine!
HE GASPS
Look. Look, look, look, look.
Yay!
BOGEYMAN HOWLS
BABIES HOWL
But listen, listen, babies - space babies -
your world is over here.
BABIES: Wow! The world of Mondo Caroon.
HE GASPS
But...
..but you can't get there.
Got no engines!
BABIES CRY
Except!
Turns out, that build-up of pressure in Hull-3-B
is from you!
BABIES: Huh? Huh?
Cos the system went wrong,
and that's where it stacked up all your nappies.
No wonder it was stinking down there.
For six years, a great big pile of sh...
Nan-E filter. ..shizzle.
A zillion metric tonnes of methane, babies -
space babies.
But I am going to let it rip!
HE LAUGHS
RUMBLING
Oh, set sail for your new home!
Baby World!
Come here now!
Are you happy now, Eric?
I'm very, very happy.
I love you, Ruby.
DOCTOR LAUGHS
RUBY EXCLAIMS
So that was a normal day for you, then?
No, no - that was extra-special nuts!
THEY LAUGH
And you, Ruby Sunday...
..get this.
Your very own TARDIS key.
What for?
I have the whole universe at my fingertips...
..and I'm all on my own.
So I'd love it if you came with me.
To, what, just...travel?
No job.
No boss.
Just fun.
We did almost die. Yes.
But we lived so much, too. Yes, we did.
Yes, yes, we did.
Yep, we did, we did. We did.
Yes.
Yes? Yes. Yes? Yes.
Oh, my God. Yes? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Ruby Sunday said yes!
Come on in! Follow me. Oh, come on.
Ho-ho-ho!
Right, mate, let me tell you where we're going to go.
Except...
Oh, terms and conditions.
There is one thing that I can never do, Ruby.
And that's take you to that church...
..on Ruby Road that Christmas.
Absolutely never.
But you've got a time machine.
If you change one thing...
..a single snowflake,
that could change your birth mother's story
and then you would never meet me,
none of this would ever happen,
and we would fall into the deepest,
darkest paradox, Ruby, trust me.
I think that snow was a warning.
I can't.
And I won't.
Well, that's a pity.
Cos I disagree.
And if you let me finish...
..we are going to go see my mum.
At Christmas.
Right now.
Come on!
And Ruby phoned, she said, "I love you," and ran off!
No word from her since.
What sort of Christmas is this?!
It all started with this man.
He called himself the Doctor.
METALLIC THRUMMING
Hold on.
What's that noise?
THRUMMING INTENSIFIES
What the blinking flip?!
Hiya, Mummy.
SHE LAUGHS
But... What are you doing?
And what the hell is that?
What's it done to my kitchen?!
Ey! Come and say hello!
Yes. Coming.
Tell your mum not to slap me.
WHIRRING
Yes, now, the people from my world,
they use titles,
like the Bishop, the Pedant,
the Sagi-shi.
My name was...
TARDIS DOOR CLOSES
Ah!
RUBY GIGGLES
Abbey Road Studios!
Everything's gone dull. If music is gone,
that means everything is changing.
The Toymaker said, he said, "My legions are coming."
I can't fight this thing!